Ok  So this is the weirdest thing… I get a text from this number that I don’t know. It happens a lot that I get calls or texts from people I don’t know, that’s not by any means the weird part! Normally I’ll just say, you have the wrong person or something so they know the person they are looking for isn’t going to respond, thier number changed. But I’ve had this number  for almost 2 years now so it doesn’t happen too much anymore. But I got a really weird vibe from this person… heres the text:

Hey sexy thing I see u haven’t texted me like forever

I was thinking of responding with something along the lines of  “probably cuz I dont know you” or something a little meaner of, “she changed her number obviously to get away from you”- but I wasn’t positive it was even a guy, a girl could say sexy thing I suppose…

So, I decide to do a little investigation. I know there’s a reverse lookup website but I couldn’t remember it, so I just typed it into google- my prefered search engine of choice- and guess what comes up… all these myspace pages of 18-20 year olds with messages saying- “thanks for the add text me ***-***-****.” or “thanks for the add hit me up sometime ***-***-****” and the best one… “Why dont you talk to me anymore, hit me up ***-***-****”  And one says his name Mark…So of course I’m curious to see who this person is, he has a myspace, he’s going to have pictures right. I click on the girls page and find the message from him in her comments section and it’s this guy on a dirtbike but you can barely see him. I was half expecting him to be older, but he says he’s 25. But still… 25 talking to 18 yr old girls… and all the “friends” are young girls on his page… creepy. The worst is he has 2 kids 4 yrs old and 1 yr old which he talks about in the info part and has pictures of… possibly to lure the girls in I imagine… and there’s only really one picture of him and his son that shows his face, the rest are of his trucks… and let me tell you… CREP-PY!

And the creepiest part… as I’m looking at his page I get another text… from him asking… U THERE? Ew! I about crawled out of my skin! haha. who texts a 2nd time to someone within minutes, to someone they haven’t talked to in forever, apparently? I felt like he was watching me or something! Gross.

Rabbits are smart creatures. Some people may think differently, but oh, I know so! I have 2 rabbits, inside rabbits, cage and litter trained… for the most part! Bugsy is actually the female and Snowball the male… Yeah the petstores don’t know shit and told us Bugsy was a boy and snowball was a girl, hense the confusing names. We found out when we went to spay and neuter them (cuz seriously who looks down there? lol). But that’s another story for another time….

So Bugsy… good ol Bugsy. She likes to pretend that she isn’t litter trained sometimes. But I noticed she only does it when she’s not very happy. For example, we moved thier cages into the living room to make room in the spare bedroom for company. We put her in the corner next to the couch, against the wall. Well no one can see her back there! She can’t see whats going on either, shes just stuck back there in the corner. She started pee’ing all over her cage. As soon as I figured out that she was mad and moved her cage, she stopped!! She’s done this on more than one occation now for different reasons.

 

Now she’s doing it again. And in the “play room” where I let them run freely out of thier cage she goes in that litter box no problem! This current time I couldn’t figure out what her problem was for the longest time! But I just figured it out today! I should also mention that my little bunnies are piggys and LOVE to eat! They go crazy when it’s food time…. Well last week I noticed she started going in her litter box again, and I was so happy I thought I finally got thru to her! But this week… at it again. WELL… Last week I got a good thing of lettuce and the leaves were big and full, so thier bowls were fuller, they got more food. This week the lettuce isn’t so good and they have smaller leaves which leaves them with less food! I dont do it on purpose but we’re tight on the food budget so I can’t afford to give them a ton of food all the time! If we have to cut back, so do the bunnies, sorry! haha. Well anyway, that must be the reason! She’s hungrier and madder when she doesn’t get enough food!

The funniest part is (I said they’re smart!) Snowball always drinks more water than Bugsy. Last night their water bottles were over half full, this morning Bugsy’s was almost gone but Snowball had just under 1/2 the water still in the bottle. So she purposely drank a ton of water (possibly to fill her up more? I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt haha) but possibly just to pee more all over the bottom of the cage to make a mess for us to clean up!

I’m no longer Michelle. I’m no longer a person. I’m no longer your friend, your co-worker, your relative. I’m just a science experiment. I’m an incubator of life. I have a person growing inside of me. Once it’s out, maybe I can return to me again. But for now, well, you decide.

I really don’t feel like “me” anymore. Both from how I’m treated, to how I look, to how I feel. People don’t look at me and see Michelle. They look at me and see a belly, a baby, a life. Sure they ask “how are you feeling” but what they really mean is, are you giving this baby a good start, is she going to be ok when she comes out or will there be complications. They don’t look at me and see Michelle, they look at me and say, “WOAH look at that belly, you’re huge!” I look in the mirror and I don’t see Michelle, I see that same huge belly staring back at me. I walk up some stairs, around a store, hell, even just to my car, and I don’t FEEL like me. I’m out of breathe, I’m tired, my back and legs hurt. I’m not me! I’m an incubator of life.

People ask how much sleep I get, what kind of foods I eat, if I have any weird cravings, if she moves a lot, how much weight I’ve gained, etc, etc, etc. See, I’m just everyones little science experiment. They’re testing the waters before they find out for themselves what it’s like.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining at all about being pregnant. I love it. I’m not complaining at all about what I’m going through or the attention I get, I love it. Just pointing out the fact that I just don’t feel like me, and sometimes people don’t treat me like me, like they used to. I’m just a big fat science experiment walking around for all to see!…    

…But I wouldn’t change it for the world!