Great way to start off a Monday…I had everything going for me too. I made lunches last night so I had more time to slink around this morning and not have to rush. I woke up actually feeling good for once (haven’t been feeling well lately), sleepy, but not TOO sleepy (I actually got enough rest this weekend!) I left for work ON TIME! (BIG accomplishment) and then I drove off to work….and my car GOT A FLAT TIRE!!! It knows i’m going to trade it in in a week! It just knows and is so mad! It not only got a hole in it, it was a BIG hole, too big to just patch! I had to buy a whole new tire for a car i’m trading in in a week!! How upsetting is that?? it cost 78$ for the new tire… and GET THIS… $30 for them to put the tire on my rim!! WHAT?? shouldn’t that be part of it? and how damn hard is it to put the tire on the rim? like you Really need to charge 30$$!! AAAHHHH.

But LUCKILY my husband is very good to me and instead of calling our car ins place for roadside assistance he came to my rescue and came to change my tire (oh yeah the spare was just about flat too, not enough air pressure-20 psi’s instead of 40 i found out when I went to go fill it up later -haha) then he took my flat into the tire store, bought the new one and came back to my work to put it on for me so I didn’t have to worry about a thing! the upside for him was he only had to work 1/2 a day because of this lol, so that was his reward

So YEA! for the hubby, but BOOO! for the car and my Monday!!

We don’t go out to eat very often, so when we do, and we have a horrible dining experience, IT REALLY TICKS ME OFF! Hello, what happened to customer service here?? What happened to the customer is always right? How about he didn’t even apologize Once with his drunk ass!! Yes, our waiter was drunk….

so heres the deal… we went to Damons Grill. I ordered the new “aloha chicken” which comes with sauteed veggies and I picked a baked potato for the side. I get the chicken, and it does look yummy. two little breasts. I cut the first piece and notice it’s a little pink on the bottom. Being the careful person I am, I cut the pink part off and just eat the fully cooked section. I cut the next piece, it’s even pinker! so i cut the whole thing in half and the bottom of the chicken is all pink. Did I mention they are small too, how hard is it to cook it throughly? But whatever, I’ll just send it back, no big deal. I’m not eating half cooked chicken and getting sick! so I’m waiting and waiting for our waiter to come back. I eat most of the baked potato while I’m waiting, and I’m really starting to fume because he didn’t come check on us once since our food came out and I saw him walking around the restaurant. So I end up eating one of C’s chicken tenders cuz I have to eat more than a baked potato for dinner. so finally after we’re both sitting there not eating anymore he comes back and sees my food on the end of the table uneaten. He sits down next to me- he did this when he took our order too which kinda creeped me out cuz he was kinda creepy and had one lazy eye on top of that (I swears thats not what makes me think he’s creepy) and he wreaked of alcohol…. so I tell him, I can’t eat that look how pink it is. And he said ok, and asked if i wanted it re-cooked and I said no it’s too late now, I don’t want it. And he asked if we wanted a box for C’s stuff. and brings back a box and our bill. He didn’t take my meal off!! I didn’t eat any of it! so as soon as he walks back by I say, I’m not paying for this. You can charge me for a side baked potato since I did eat that (see how reasonable and nice I am??) but I’m not paying for the whole meal which I didn’t eat! He says, “Ok” and walks away. seriously like 10-15 mins later a manager finally comes over with the bill and asks what the problem was. She was very nice and reasonable and said she would take it off and asked if i wanted it recooked or something else to take home. I said no, I was fine, I didn’t want to wait. She  sort of insisted and said she didn’t want me to go home hungry. It was nice of her, but I’m not one for taking handouts, I don’t need anything for free, I just want what I pay for and I want to pay for what I get, you know. As she was walking away she suggested dessert to go, Cheesecake or Chocolate cake? OH Cheesecake! If you know me, you know cheesecake is my weakness!! lol. so I said, you know cheesecake does sound good. So probably 15 mins later the waiter comes back with my cheesecake to go and the bill with my meal off of it, I was nervous he spit in my cheesecake because she said she would talk to him about not coming back to do a check once we got the food. And NOT ONCE did he ever seem sorry or apologize about anything. I know that the chicken not being cooked isn’t his fault, I know that and was not blaming him for that. But don’t you think being the person who brings the food out, they should take a little responsibility? at least being the one to say I’m sorry you weren’t happy with it? Or at least taking it off the bill seeing that I didnt eat it and wasn’t satisfied? But he did nothing. So I told C he was not getting a tip from me. and I didnt want him to have our credit card after all this, plus he took forever each time he came back and I just wanted to get out of there, so I made C pay with the last of his cash he had but he was a little short, so I had to chip in a couple bucks… but we ended up only giving him $1.25 for a tip on a like $23 bill C was mad, he wanted me to give him more because he knows what it’s like working for tips. But I am NOT a stingy person. I always give min. 15% if not 20% or more if they were Really good. I definitely recognize the good servers with a good tip, but when you piss me off and are not good, my tip to you is going to show it. I won’t stiff you and give you 0 but you will def know you did not earn anything from me!

*disclaimer… this is long and personal, but I needed to write this for me, just to get it all off my chest. So read if you wish to know what’s been going on with me this past week but if you don’t i won’t be offended in any way…

I’ve been out of touch for a while, with the web and my internet friends. It seems very strange yet almost refreshing at the same time. I almost feel cleansed…which may sound strange. But life goes on with out you if you dont live it, but things on the internet, they’re still there when you get back! I could catch up on everyone thru reading past posts I missed, though the history feeds on MS and FB which i frequently visit. So I really didn’t miss anything. But if I didn’t go away this week, I would have missed a lot!

My grandfather passed away a week ago (Monday). My mom called me at 1030pm to let me know. Before I answered I knew the reason for her call, she never calls that late. It can either wait til the next day or she would send me an email. It’s kinda funny my mom has caught on to the internet generation, so much that we barely speak on the phone anymore, it’s always through email. But when it’s something important or something bad, she phones. It’s so bad that I cringe whenever I see her name on my caller ID! This wasn’t a huge shock either, I knew he wasn’t doing well and was in the hospital. But at the same time, it is shocking! I thought he was getting better, I thought he was going to pull through! And all 4 of my grandparents were still alive. I never lost any grandparents, parents, siblings, even aunts, uncles, or cousins!! The only people I’ve lost were my great grandmother- the only one I did know the others past before I was born, and a couple great uncles (my dad’s uncles) who were all very old and I barely knew, and definitely wouldn’t say I was very close with them. The only person I was close to that past was my best friends mother who was definitely like a 2nd mother to me, so that did hurt. But I was lucky because I could say she was the only one I was close to that died. Not very many people can say that. I always felt sheltered from that grief you feel.

When I heard the news, I felt disbelief. I didn’t think what I heard was real. I knew it was, but I didn’t want to believe it. I stayed strong on the phone, but as soon as I hung up I couldn’t help but cry. I cried myself to sleep with my loving husband rubbing my back comforting me. But I had to get up and go to work the next day which was difficult. It is one of the busiest days and I couldn’t leave my work undone with no notice. But trust me, if I had to fly back home or something I wouldn’t have cared I would have left, but there was nothing for me to do the next day so I might as well get into work. I had a few more cries that day when I had to explain the situation and tell my boss I needed time off. I get 3 days paid bereavement so that helps a little, so I could take Wed-Fri off without worry. So my husband and I drove the 4 hours across state to be with my grandmother and my mother who flew in from MI again. She had just left the Saturday before to go home, she was just visiting when he fell ill and was admitted to the hospital, and she pushed her flight back twice when he wasn’t doing well but then he was getting better so she left to get back to work…stupid jobs and money we must have…

In order to respect my grandfathers wishes we weren’t to have a funeral… which is actually much harder than you think. I think funerals provide the closure everyone needs. Sure its hard, it’s hard to see your loved ones crying, it’s hard when you have to take time off work and out of your busy lives and travel for it, and it can be stressful and heartbreaking to say goodbye. But that is just what you do! And it’s how you let go. I was in their condo for 4 days without him but I still almost don’t feel like he’s really gone!! I know he wasn’t there and I’ve never been there without him, but it just didn’t seem Real. But that is what he wanted. Plus, since we didn’t have a funeral they didnt have to rush with the cremation which really upset my grandmother knowing his body he was just laying there in the hospital gown. And my mom suggested we bring clothes for them to dress him, to make her feel better about it. And my cold hearted uncle said, “mother, he’s not laying there where we left him, he’s in a freezer” gee, thanks for that mental picture, i think that is a worse image for her! Shes sitting there crying, petting his gold watch he never took off which is much to big for her tiny wrist but she’s wearing it anyway, flipping it over and stroking the smooth surface face. She doesn’t argue, she doesn’t say a word. My mother breaks down from time to time, tears welling at the surface trying not to break free. She says my grandmother is holding up stronger than she is. Mom, it’s because grandma has to take her “happy pills” in order to keep from having a nervous breakout regularly. She is very sensitive and a nervous person , I definitely know which side of the family I get those type of traits from! Which i was especially worried about her since she is normally a bit unstable emotionally.

Now, I was worried about my grandma and I like to see my mom every chance I get since she lives so far away but I haven’t been feeling well lately, which just adds to the stress level of all this. So I didnt want to go and be a problem for everyone else. I didn’t want to be a distraction from anything they needed to get done with arrangements. And they weren’t having any type of service and the rest of the family was not going to be there, so she said it wasn’t necessary. So I thought I should be there, but then I wasn’t sure if they wanted me there (another body just in the way and not enough room for everyone to sleep since my mom and uncles were already there) and I wasn’t feeling well so I didn’t want to be a burden. So, Tuesday when I was trying to decide what to do, I prayed and asked God to guide me to what I should do and decided to leave it up to him. The next day I was actually feeling a little better than I had been the past few days weeks and I just had the feeling that I should be there for my family, I wanted to be there. I knew then, that that was the right thing to do and was more at ease. Now because I went, it meant that my grandmother would not be alone for a whole week. With everyone’s schedules coming and going at different times, I didnt know at the time, but it left her Friday alone all day. My uncle from northern FL and TX had already left. My mom and uncle from MI were leaving early Fri morning and my uncle from northern FL was coming back late Fri after work. So it worked out perfectly that I was there on Friday for her.

When we were riding the elevator back up to her apartment, after saying goodbye to my mother and uncle as the cab took them away, she sighed and looked at me and said, “I’m so glad that you’re here.” *heart melts* ok this was totally worth it right there. Then later on that day she was trying to stay busy doing housework and I ask what I can do for her, what I can help with. She said to me, “You don’t have to do anything but just be here.” I knew that she was grateful not to be alone, and I had made the right decision on being there for her.

One of my favorite pics with my grandparents, back in 04 when he was a lot healthier.

This morning I watched the movie Crossroads… you know the one with Britney Spears, DON’T LAUGH! haha.

It was the first thing on when I turned on the tv and I was watching it trying to figure out what it was and by the time I figured it out I was already into the storyline, so I had to keep watching to see what happened, you know. And i think it was somewhat at the beginning of the movie. You know it didnt even look like Britney at first! She looked so young and sweet and innocent… and put together, not all trashy like she is now! haha. I wonder if she was dating Justin Timberlake at the time of making this movie… because one of the songs they were singing to on the radio was “BYE BYE BYE.” Interesting… I really like the old younger Britney. She was very pretty. And I always liked that song ‘not a girl, not yet a woman.’ She performs it in the end for some contest. Oh but you know who I CAN”T STAND in the movie? Taryn Manning. I can’t stand the way she talks, she slurs everything, how can you be an actress when you can’t even speak clearly!? and she so skanky lookin… haha. ok i’m done with the rant… I think my opinion is a bit skewed with her because… at my bachelorette party they were asking me questions that they asked my fiance ahead of time for this game. And one of the questions was something like what famous celebrity would you want to sleep with… yeah his answer was that girl! Are you Kidding me?? Seriously?? haha. She’s not even pretty… sorry, I thought I was done with the rant but I guess not… SO ANYWAY… yeah I ended up watching that movie in it’s entirety, well except the beginning that i missed… and although it is geared for the teeny bopper generation… sometimes I like feeling like a kid again watching young movies…